Recently a friend from my BDS years got in touch. We were good friends even though I knew i didnt appreciate certain traits. But then that’s why I realized the seriousness of what happens with many many people like him.
As usual, we caught up with what was happening in each other’s life. Through the conversation there was a point where I didn’t agree with what he told me. So, as candid as I am, I refused saying” No, I don’t agree….”
To this he said, “Whatever I say, You have to agree. I am not good with arguments. So you better agree with me whether you are right or not.”
Then, having learnt Gurudev’s language I explained to him how it is important to accept the things each one does and how it really is important to give each other the space to be opinionated and do what is best for many people.
In answer, he said “I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. Even if I’m wrong I’m right.”
This conversation hit me very hard. It was like a déjà vu. And I strained hard to recollect where and when I had been through this situation.
I woke up the next morning, irritated that I spoke to him and bothered as ever about what was happening with me. Then it dawned…..
All through my life I have grown up with people having accepted drinking as a social norm. Even as a child, when we were abroad, parties meant a group of adults who relax when they drink while kids and those who refuse to do so are left bored or under the responsibility of bringing home the “Relaxed” ones safe.Even now, at work people de-stress and unwind themselves with a peg or two. It is a social norm AGAIN!!
The first time of the déjà vu was when my father had spoken the very same words to the family. He had by then lost focus of values that mattered to us.
I have not read any scriptures on the effects that alcohol has on the mind because I accepted then that a social norm is good for all. And once in a while drinking is harmless…. Now a days I hear even people claiming that their doctors say it so…
I have seen how sound judgment within no time is lost. And when anyone refuses to listen to a meaningless statement, it brings a forceful way of getting things done…Repeated argument, blame, lack of responsibility, recklessness, forcefulness, aggression, and a million ways that say “ I am always right”. In my friend’s case, he’d lost track of sensibility and was set to ruin around him too… I had seen enough but not enough to realise that this is what happens to our own.
Ironic, because it was meant to de-stress and bring clarity…
I know that with people we love and care for we do not want to believe the long term effects of alcohol since we want nothing bad to happen to those we love. However, the truth differs…..
When we care, we protect…. If you really care, get people to stop Drinking! That’s the Only way you get to enjoy the real person. Doesn't matter if it is once in a while, social drinking or just 2 pegs a day.... because that's enough to do what it does...
I know that the present day trend is all about looking cool, hep, stylish… the beverage advertisements really promote all these…. But when you go to a satsang where each one is in the peak of happiness, spirit, creativity, sharing and a bursting enthusiasm then compare it to the scene you get to see in a bar… You’ll know what I mean….
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